The Zionist’s Guide To The World Cup — Day 19

In yesterday’s blog post, I advised those using the Zionist’s Guide rankings for betting purposes to wait one day before betting the farm.  Mexico outplayed Brazil in the first half and was unlucky not to score at least once.  As for Japan, they blew a two goal lead to the mighty Belgians (the phrase “mighty Belgians” is generally considered an oxymoron, except with reference to the current national team) and lost in heartbreaking fashion in the last minute of stoppage time.

For a moment, though, it seemed like the ZGWC rankings might have been based on some sort of divine inspiration.  Alas, that moment passed.

In the end, there were no stunning upsets today, and the two teams that were supposed to win avoided embarrassment.

We do not know what policy the newly-elected Mexican government of Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador will adopt towards Israel, but we do know that he will be assuming control of a country with a deeply wounded psyche.  The Mexican people love their soccer, and their beloved team broke their hearts in the Round of 16 for the seventh consecutive World Cup.  To add insult, the final score was 2-0–the  final score of several significant Mexican defeats to the much-reviled United States team.

Tomorrow, the top-ranked ZGWC squad, Colombia, takes on England.  With today’s defeats of Japan and Mexico, the Colombians represent the last, best hope for some form of quasi-Zionist triumph at this World Cup.  It should be a tough game where each side will look to be assertive and impose their will on the game.  Neither team will be looking to put ten men in the box and hope for penalty kicks.  Just the phrase “penalty kicks” sends English fans into a cold sweat.

The final match-up of the knockout rounds, between Sweden and Switzerland, is not only the least meaningful for Zionist fans, but is also the least anticipated by the footballing world.  Both squads are solid, but dull.  If one must pick a side to win, Switzerland gets a hint of a nod.  The best thing would be to fold some laundry whilst watching the game.  That way, it won’t be a total waste of time.

About the Author
Doug Klein is an attorney in Chicago and the wrestling coach at Ida Crown Jewish Academy.
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